


Where Were You?

by ronnijade



Category: Joaquin Phoenix - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:42:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22042744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronnijade/pseuds/ronnijade
Kudos: 10





	Where Were You?

Where was this guy at? You sighed as you waited outside the apartment block your blind date had told you to meet him at, but he still hadn’t arrived yet, and you were growing anxious — irritated, even. Who was this stranger to show you up? Had you really dressed your best and shaven your entire coochie and butt crack just to have a no-show? “Fuck this, I’m out.” you grumbled to yourself, turning on the heel of your shoe to leave just when you hear a high pitched voice yell out, ‘WHERE WERE YOU?’ 

Startled, you turn around to see a parrot perched just above the entrance to the building, staring down at you. ‘WHERE WERE YOU?’ it yapped once more, before a man came stumbling out of the entrance, hurriedly jumping to grab the pesky bird and shove it back into its cage. He turned to face you, and for a second, you were somewhat starstruck. Wasn’t that..?

“Hi, I’m the multi-Oscar award winning sensation, Adam Sandler, as seen in Jack and Jill, Anger Management and Big Daddy. You must be my date?”

Adam Sandler! Your eyes lit up with desire, and you nodded, quickly following him inside the building as he lead you back up to his apartment. 

“Sorry about Poopsie, silly little thing must have gotten out of its cage while I was shaving my massive ballsack.” You were still star-stuck, so all you did was giggle and wrap your arm around his strong, muscular bicep. 

As the night went on and you finally seemed to relax in his company, Adam began getting more and more risqué with his compliments, before he was eventually sitting beside you on the couch with a massive boner. 

You giggle about something on the TV, some gay Joaquin Phoenix film, and Adam giggles with you. “Ha ha, so... no head then?” 

You immediately drop to your knees and start sucking his massive veiny ginormous huge rod, even if it does smell a little bit. You ignore the dick cheese that has gathered under his foreskin, but when a little bit of it gets between your teeth you can’t help but chew on it... It’s actually quite nice. It tastes like bacon flavoured chips, but chewier. 

“I want you to call me Big Daddy. Call me Big Daddy you dirty little ugly skank whore bitch cunt wanker slut.” he growls at you in his deep, Bronx accent. 

“I want your dick, Big Daddy. Please, multiple Oscar-award winner Adam Sander, better known as Jack from Jack and Jill or Nicky from Little Nicky or—“ 

“Shut up. Anal destruction time.” he beams and flips you open and sticks his dick in your bum hole through your dress, causing the material to get stuck up your poop shoot. “Wedgie!” he screams, giggling and you laugh, blushing. He was so cute. 

You look at the TV at Joaquin Phoenix singing some dumb Johnny Cash song and throw a vase at it to smash it, because his face is turning you off from all the hot Adam Sandler sexy time you’re having. Adam cums so hard it shoots up through you and out of your nose. You smile and fall on the floor, looking up at him. 

“I’m pregnant, Adam. You’re going to be a Big Daddy.”

— THE END —


End file.
